This is one of a series of letters written in the years 2002 to 2006 to a foreign advice columnist at 21st Century, an English newspaper published weekly by the China Daily.
Online dating has replaced nights out for the Internet-dependent. Chinese women use chat rooms, instant messengers, Facebook or crotchety old e-mail to pursue fantasy romances consistent with images they see in movies. Some avoid meeting men behind the dialogue boxes in case they spoil the fantasy by ordering cheap food on dates or getting nervous while talking. They’d hate to find out that he’s 55 instead of 25 as he claims. Men, especially shy ones, go online to meet women without risking the nervous stutters or red faces that might mar actual dates. Both parties can review their lines and delete anything off-key before hitting “send.” They upload only their best digital self-portraits, or someone else’s. But questions about the other side’s offline presence persist:
Student letters to a foreign agony uncle
Dear Ralph,
I am a third-year university student. I have a boyfriend from California. We met via Internet messenger and chatted for about half a year. He is working as a musician and a part-time doctor. We have seen each other’s photos. He is very thoughtful and has said he loves me very much. This April (2004), he will come to Hong Kong and may come to see me. I am glad, but still worry that my English is limited and that I can’t express myself very well. Also, what if the culture and lifestyle are different between us? To some extent, I love him also, but I can’t help worrying about the future. Should I take this love seriously?
-Maggie, Hunan province