Ralph Jennings is a journalist and long time resident of China. He currently lives in Taipei. From mid-2000 to 2006, he had an advice column in the 21st Century weekly newspaper in which he answered letters from thousands of students and young professionals. Below is a letter from the archive, with an introduction by Jennings.
An introverted personality can be a Chinese undergrad’s worst classmate. It follows only-child students to college from homes where parents discourage conversation and from middle schools where teachers forbid the same. In college they suddenly want dates but don’t know where to start. Some guys dump ice on the hots for a girl:
Student letters to a foreign agony uncle
Dear Ralph,
After I entered the university, I’ve gradually recognized that I am so introverted that I am always too ashamed to talk to my classmates, especially the girls. As soon as I met a girl who is one of my classmates, I found I was attracted to her. However, one year has passed, and I had almost never spoken to her because of my shyness. Although I can see her every day, I am used to pretending to be cold toward her. What should I do? I even doubt that I really like her. Maybe I just feel lonely. If I do like her, should I tell her? Sometimes I am afraid that some day I cannot see her. I feel very confused! Just waiting for you advice!
-OuYang Mingri, via e-mail