A shortcut to TCM mastery

From this week’s Oriental Outlook magazine, a short anecdote about SMS spam offering fake certificates in spinal alignment:

This morning I received an SMS message: “Hello! On 8 August, our institute will hold a special training class for X Family Pelvic and Spinal Straightening for neck, upper- and lower-back, and leg pain! You are welcome to come study. Teacher X.”

I called up with questions about the fee, and received the following answer: “Five days, 3,000 yuan tuition. We will issue a certificate that acknowledges you have a master-apprentice relationship. From then on you can claim that you are a disciple of this school.”

What sort of talent can be fashioned in five days?

In comparision, our studies followed a much more arduous road. From last September we have spend day and night with the master. When there were patients we saw how to treat them; when there were none, we listened to the master’s sermons. Going to bed at eleven or twelve at night was a frequent occurrence. The majority of the time we practiced on the master’s own body; he would give us affirmation when we performed well, and instruction when we were insufficient. After a half year of this, the master finally believed that we could work on mildly ill patients. He would stand aside, watching us work and pointing out any inadequacies. By this May, when we had seen the master treat cases of high blood pressure, decade-long migranes, and black eyes, after we had throroughly mastered his theories, did he say we could go out on our own. But he still cautioned us to be especially careful with small children and the elderly.

I don’t know, does five days worth of studying deserve the title “master”?