The beginning of 2007, a time to sum up the events of 2006 and issue new plans for the new year. But the prospect of coming up with new ways of telling everyone what they already know or disguising lackluster performance as another in a series of stunning successes is not something one necessarily looks forward to.
Fortunately, there are people willing to do it for you. In the letters section of the current issue of Southern People Weekly (2007 #1), Hangzhou resident Liu Sha relates this anecdote:
A few days ago, out of the blue I received this SMS: “Our company specialized in writing up annual work summaries for all kinds of work units. Interested parties should contact ****.”
This SMS was sent three times, so I was kind of annoyed.
I gave a call back to the number listed in the message. A woman answered the phone and talked warmly of things like prices and the report’s quality guarantee. Then she asked me what sort of report I needed.
I had actually planned on calling them on it. But then I suddenly changed my mind, and said “Our work unit leadership is very demanding about the summary report. I wonder if you will be able to do it.”
The woman said: “The name of your company?”
I happened to be holding a newspaper, so I picked off a random company name. Unexpectedly, the woman said, “That’s not right. Your company has already contacted us about your annual summary.”
I wondered about the likelihood of such a coincidence. But I still had my wits about me, and said, “Not the main company. A branch division.”
The woman said, “Here, the materials fee for a branch company is relatively low. 200 yuan will do it. Tomorrow or the next day you can pick up the documents. You can wire the money.”
I pretended to agree, and then delicately asked her how much business they did in handling annual reports. She said, “Business is busy. Not just annual summaries for companies – we can write up reports for annual goverment meetings, and we guarantee quality because we have a think tank here. Of course, fees are at least 2000 yuan.”