Death, a topic that Chinese often avoid discussing openly, shows up in one or two Q&A column letters per year. A few threaten suicide over bad grades followed by harsh family reaction. You can’t tell whether a threat is real. Other letters ask how to get over a parent who had suddenly died of illness or from a workplace accident, reminders that despite China’s modernization, health and safety shortfalls often kill people well before old age. Here is a vivid example:
Student letters to a foreign agony uncle
Dear Ralph,
This weekend, as Fathers Day comes, many families enjoy themselves in parks or restaurants. However, it’s this day that stimulates deep sorrow in my mind, sorrow that involves my father’s death. My father was a good man for society. As many say, he wasn’t able to wake up again when he was hit hard by a motorcycle driven by teenagers on Spring Festival eve. Every day since that accident, or major turn in my life, I have tried to get drunk, especially in school, where I don’t want anyone to know my secret. Drinking really seems to be effective. I haven’t been derailed from my normal studies. However, as Father’s Day comes, I can hardly restrain myself from thinking of the beautiful past and I wonder if I committed suicide whether I would be able to see my great father once more. What else can I do about my love, my sorrow and my memory of him? Please advise me on how to continue my life.
-Pue Kai, Guangdong
June 2000